fake ids: not just for teen drinking anymore

Sure, your friends in CorpAm get box tickets to sporting events, an expense account for “power lunches”, the ability to say “power lunch” with a straight face, free car service rides home from work, a good health insurance plan, a 401k (which we just recently learned does not mean a one-time payment of $401,000), and yearly cash bonuses. That ain’t shit compared to the sole Museum employee perk: free admission to all other Museums. Yeah, we look after our own. (Full disclosure: we did receive a bonus in 2006– a purple cashmere scarf purchased with petty cash at a half-off sale at Century 21.)

But sometimes two paid meals, a car service home, and a bonus the size of our last NYSCA grant isn’t enough for our fine feathered friends in the Corporatesphere, so along comes Eric Doeringer, who has so graciously supplied us with templates for fake Museum IDs. Look, we think it’s ridiculous to pay $20 to get in MoMA also, but ante up already. Props though to the imaginary “Kincade Museum,” although the greater part of middle America might be considered as such.

See also: Doeringer’s fake museum t-shirts 

MoDo on Cheney v. Natty Archives

In between making fun of Barack Obama for crimes against masculinity, Maureen Dowd takes a sec to expand her ever-irrelevant definition of a manly man (while weighing in on the outrageous Dick Cheney/National Archives scandal):

I love that Cheney was able to bully Colin Powell, Pentagon generals and George Tenet when drumming up his fake case for war, but when he tried to push around the little guys, the National Archive data collectors — I’m visualizing dedicated “We the People” wonky types with glasses and pocket protectors — they pushed back.

Archivists are the new macho heroes of Washington.

cheney cheezcheney cheezcheney cheez

it’s hard out there for a creation museum

flintstone-extra-dinosaur.JPGAs if it isn’t tough enough to run a museum which flies in the face of all scientific fact, now Kentucky’s Creation Museum must contend with a challenge far more spurious than science: a sex scandal. Seems the actor they hired to portray Adam (the Original Man) might have possibly posed next to a drag queen (the horrors!) on an awful, flash-ridden website called Bedroom Acrobat (they disavow any connection to the actor, one Eric Linden; mildly nsfw).

 Mediabistro picks up on the story with some choice excerpts from the hot-and-bothered Curators of Creation:

..”We are currently investigating the veracity of these serious claims of his participation in projects that don’t align with the biblical standards and moral code upon which the ministry was founded,” Answers for Genesis spokesman Mark Looy said in an e-mail statement.

Here’s the museum’s take on a post-Scopes world:

We walk into a dark, dirty neon lit hallway. Some hoodlum kids decided to graffiti the walls with their secular progressive propaganda that Bill-O has warned us about. There is even rampant littering, with newspaper strewn all over the ground. Don’t those kids have any respect anymore? Also, a menacing plastic mouse looks over us, another sign of the Godless mess of a world we’ve created.

On the walls are a series on horrific headlines and stories cut from our Godless Liberal Media publications.

Gay Marriage! Abortion! Evolution in the Schools! Science! School Shootings!

postscript: God may rest on Sunday, but the Creation Museum is open 7 days a week.

The Smithpwnian: Burke ‘n’ stocks are comfortable

Sheila P. Burke, Deputy Secretary of the Smithsonian, resigned on Tuesday due to criticism about her outside earnings over the past 6 years (an estimated 1.2 million).

Quoth the post:

Burke’s resignation came on the eve of an independent report that sources said would criticize her extensive outside activities, including highly compensated corporate board seats, academic appointments, a federal commission that oversees Medicare, and numerous nonprofit organizations.